Crushes: Here's Why You're Developing Feelings for That Special Someone

Picture this: A new kid strides elegantly into your classroom with an ever slight smile. You watch their hair flow graciously as the draft from the window hits it at the perfect angle. You automatically feel the urge to get to know them and start romanticizing them in any and every way possible.  It occurs to you that you are attracted to this student, or at least feel as though that is the case, and naturally find yourself labeling this sudden attraction as a "crush". You think to yourself, why on earth do I feel this way about this specific person; what is it about them? You wonder if the series of rhetorical questions following the first glance can be followed with the answer: the world will never know? Well, I'm here to tell you of course that is not the case; just like almost everything else, it's science. 

                                           TÕNU TUNNEL/STOCKSY.  Two young loves. 

Let's start from the beginning. Throughout our lives, we have subconsciously constructed a mental list of all of the qualities we admire for a prospective partner. We do this based on exposed environmental behavior that typically benefits us and activates positive expressions. Thus, when revealed to a new individual who exhibits the characteristics of those written on our mental lists, our brains are more susceptible to activate their respective dopamine systems. 

This dopamine system is responsible for all of those giddy feelings you get when enduring something of an exciting or thrilling nature. The feelings of a crush releases mood-boosting hormones in the brain, like dopamine and oxytocin, which create that sort of externally excited effect, and are ultimately responsible for the possible sweaty palms or butterflies in your stomach. Neurologically, this system is, more or less, a basic factory that is very close to the areas of your brain that control your thirst and hunger. When struck by someone who asserts qualities of our previously talked about mental lists, our brain's cognitive network is activated; the part of the brain that holds our past experiences, preferences, and self-image. 

                                       Location of the components of the mesocorticolimbic dopamine system and other brain regions.

This system occurs naturally as you begin to find people who exhibit the characteristics of that subconscious list you have been making. It comes as no shock that lots of high schoolers develop crushes for let's say the varsity starter, simply because of the idea of mob mentality, and the lack of time a high schooler has had to develop their mental list. At any given point, the average brain of a high schooler has yet to have the time to develop this list for a long-term partner, so naturally we fall back into the trend of dating for reasons other than neurological attraction. Though as we progress through life, we being to construct this list and will unknowingly become attracted to those that correlate with it in specific ways. 

Our mental lists are a product of our environments. When exposed to specific behaviors, we certify, again subconsciously, or maybe with peers, whether or not those behaviors are likable or unlikable qualities. Hence the composition of such a list which will further be applied to the people we meet. When the qualities or characteristics align with the ones we deemed likable, we naturally become fascinated and maybe even pursue the individual that exhibits them. Though as time goes on, we are exposed to more and more of their qualities, some being unlikable. Typically, we fall back on the people that share similar qualities to ourselves: whether that be within the same socioeconomic background, the same intelligence level, people with similar goals, etc. . 

                                                              Image of a list. ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE WITH LISTS.

Despite the firsthand excitement of a crush, unfortunately these feelings are merely temporary. As you progressively get to know someone beyond the first glance stage, your brain begins to associate said person in the bonding phase. This, in terms of how your brain functions, results in a decrease of stress system symptoms, which explains why you get a little less jittery the more and more you are around your crush. Your dopamine system is not functioning as rigorously, releasing less mood-boosting hormones in the brain. 

                                                       Image of some candy hearts that may possibly be given out to that special someone around Valentine's Day. 

Crushes begin as natural occurrences, though in some cases will result in more long-term, sustained relationships. Furthermore, we have the concept of love; more specifically how love can be broken down scientifically. For starters, love can be scientifically broken down into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment, all of which containing their respective scientific elements. The first category, lust, is a broader term for the pre-emptive strike of a crush or initial interest. As previously stated, our cognitive dopamine systems generate giddy feelings that make our palms sweat or cheeks blush when we are exposed to someone who fits our subconscious list. Though, let's discuss a step further. Lust, generally speaking, is a term driven by sex hormones. The hypothalamus of the brain, when undergoing a shortened stage of lust, will stimulate the production of sex hormones testosterone and estrogen from the testes and ovaries. Testosterone is responsible for libido (sexual desire) in both men and women, while estrogen increases libido in women during their time of ovulation. The second category for discussion in our breakdown of love is attraction. This term is known for describing that feeling of excitement that you receive when noticing your crush. It is during this phase that your dopamine system begins, as previously stated, produced by the hypothalamus. Dopamine plays a large role in the brain’s reward pathway; in other words it is a hormone released when we take action that makes us feel good. Dopamine along with norepinephrine, which is a naturally occurring chemical in the body that acts as both a stress hormone and neurotransmitter, are released during the phase of attraction, and together account for our more tense or nerve-wracking feelings. New research has also provided evidence that increases in attraction have caused reduction in serotonin levels, a hormone that’s known to be involved in appetite and mood. Further, even more researched has provided some speculation towards a connection between low serotonin levels in those who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder linked with those in the beginning stages of love, possibly providing evidence for what underlies the overpowering infatuation when first developing a crush. Finally, we see the last category of love connecting to the predominant factor in long-term relationships, attachment. Attachment is the root of intimacy; an act that will continue for more extended periods of time at greater depths. During this stage, oxytocin and vasopressin are released in the brain. Oxytocin is produced by the hypothalamus and released in large quantities during sex, breastfeeding, and childbirth; all of which are precursors to bonding. Because of this, it has been more recently referred to as the "cuddling hormone"

                                                    Chemical structure of the peptide hormone and neuropeptide Oxytocin.

So the next time you come across a seemingly perfect person who you long to get to know, and you begin to start feeling the nerves and jitters of that immediate glance, just blame it on science!